Salty Squid

Whether you’re on the scout for adventure or looking kick back and wind down in the jungle, Guatemala has it all. This versatile country is guaranteed to tickle your pickle.

Lanquin

The unique Zephyr Lodge is set deep in the verdant hills of Lanquin. As hostels go, this one is pretty damn magical. Picture this: you’re sat surrounded by never-ending greenery in the infinity pool, sipping on an ice-cold Cuba Libre (or necking tequila shots) which you have conveniently grabbed from the swim-up bar. However, take heed dear reader, we were warned about the cleanliness of the pool and had heard horror stories of the aftermath of swallowing any of the dreaded water. Low and behold, after one-too-many cocktails, we were dive bombing head first into the pool and the consequences were somewhat bleak. I’ll keep it PG, but let’s just say I’ll never be the same after shitting myself in front of 30 strangers the next day. Do not drink the pool water. One more time for the people at the back – keep your head ABOVE the water. 

The dormitories at Zephyr Lodge are basic but comfortable. There are a range of rooms and we opted for a shared dorm (Q110 per night) and it was clean, pleasant and had the most incredible views in the history of incredible views. As you rise from your slumber, you are greeted by the sun peeping through the unspoiled jungle… as are the 11 other strangers you are sharing with, but what better way to bond than over a view of the Guatemalan jungle?!

I would highly recommend the excursions organised by the crew at Zephyr. They do trips to Semuc Champey, tubing through the glorious jungle (think Laos but way less hardcore), candlelit cave tours and waterfall trips. I can confirm the candlelit cave tour is the closest you will ever get to being Angelia Jolie in Tomb Raider; guaranteed to make you feel like a total badass.

After Lanquin, we headed to Flores on a precarious 13 hour bus journey. The effects of drinking the entire pool at Zephyr Lodge was taking its toll and it was a bit touch and go. I would love to write about how beautiful and quaint Flores is but sadly we spent the whole evening glued to the toilet in the lovely hotel we had paid for. So, you will have read someone else’s blog. Sorry about that. 

Volcano Acatenango

Climbing Volcano Acatenango is undoubtedly the most epic thing I have ever done. To my fellow adrenaline junkies – this one is for you! Where else in the world can you sit above the clouds, sipping red red wine, roasting marshmallows, whilst watching an active volcano erupt with REAL LIFE lava?! I would be lying if I said the climb was easy, but in the words of Miley Cyrus (or Joe McEldry, depending on your taste in music) it ain’t about how fast you get there.  It was absolutely worth the sweat, blood and altitude sickness. 

We were recommended to stay at Hostel Tropicana in Antigua and they organised everything for us, from the ski jackets to the wine supplies, they had it covered. We left the hostel at around 8am and started the hike at 9am, despite the regular breaks, it is physically challenging and you are glad to reach base camp around 4pm. The view from base camp is sensational. You are perched at 2600m with a panoramic view of Volcan Fuego, a neighbouring active volcano so you can enjoy dinner and a lava show. After a slightly chilly night’s sleep in a tent (spooning highly recommended), we began our climb to the summit at 4am to catch the sunrise at around 5:30am. A quick head’s up – when you reach the summit, it is Arctic; take loads of layers and hand warmers. No words can describe the scenes from the summit, you’re standing above cloud level watching the sunrise and it is truly breathtaking, a once in a lifetime experience! The hobble down is far easier and despite your calves feeling like Bradley Wiggins after the Tour De France, you will be telling everyone you know to go and climb Acatenango. 

Lake Atitlan

Nestled in a volcanic crater in the southwest of Guatemala is the famous Lake Atitlan. Whatever your vibe is, there will be something for you at Lake Atitlan. The little towns are dotted around the edges of the lake and are easily accessible by taxi boat, you simply stand on the of the pier and wave a big flag, within minutes a friendly taxi boat driver will scoop you up and take you wherever you wish!

We stayed at Free Cerveza, a hostel in Santa Cruz comprised of cute bell tents and with the obvious draw of free beer. If you love beer and partying, this place is perfect. Not only do you get free beer (did I mention the free beer?), they also have sunrise yoga, kayaks and paddle boards that are available to all guests. One of the other main spots around the Lake are San Marcos, a hippy paradise with a vegan cafe on every corner and an abundance of tie dye-clad nomads who came and never left. Further along the shore is San Pedro, the Guatemalan equivalent of Malia; parties that start and never end, Cuba libres on tap, neon vests galore. We swung by just for one day and it was enough for us! One top tip for the lake is take cash with you, there is only one cash point in San Pedro and queuing behind a bunch of drunk people trying to remember the PIN for their Monzo is not relaxing, I’ll tell you that for free.